Pause?

Not terribly active these days on the writing front. I was just about to sit down and write "I'm taking a break from this thing for a bit so I can stop feeling guilty that I'm not writing anything". But then I peeked at the "stats" - something I don't do all that often - and it appears there are people that actually read this. Which I find flabbergasting. But reason enough, perhaps, to try to write something now and again.

I'm a tad torn about continuing for a few reasons:

1. I started writing this because I was in a death spiral of doom, hence the sub-title by way of explanation: "a don't panic log". At my most anxious and sad and desperate, I found if I wrote down how I was feeling it dissipated enough to muddle through. It was my friend Kristin that suggested this approach and she was right. I could have just gotten a journal, I suppose. But the act of admitting shame and sadness publicly, for me, is what helps normalize it. Keeping it to myself just doesn't work as well. Somehow giving it air brings it down in intensity a notch effectively diffusing the angst and despair. 
2. I'm no longer in a death spiral of doom. So perhaps the need to do this is no longer there. But maybe I can just make it about something else? Like happiness? Which surely will ebb and flow. 
3. I say things that are private. Which, when they're just about me is fine. But when they involve other people ... it is not so fine. And I've botched this line on more than one occasion and hurt people I care about. So given that it seems I'm a little unclear on the line (I'm learning), maybe I should just hit pause.
4. There are people reading this that I had no idea would ever even care. There are people I work with that have referenced it in passing. What? Goodness. Embarrassing. But perhaps OK. I said to myself when I started (thinking no one would ever read it except Kristin who suggested it) that if anything I wrote about got me in trouble at work then that probably wasn't the place for me to work anymore. I don't write about work stuff that is confidential or even sensitive. So why should they care if I write about stuff that is personally confidential and sensitive? Seems to me it isn't their business. And they don't care. Whew. All of that said, it is a little disconcerting to think about colleagues that I sit in status meetings with and do power point presentations to reading the sex entry I wrote a few months back (and have since taken down for a whole host of reasons). Alas... I'm pretty OK with it. 

I'll ponder this for a moment. I'll likely continue as at the very least it keeps my mind limber in a way that my real work does not. The more I write the more I write, I guess. 

And of course, there are these Olympics to comment on...