I think part 2 of the gymnastics abuse articles might be more disturbing than part 1. These girls are brave. I'm honored to know them and call some of them friends. And again, for those that would argue, this happened "then", please keep in mind this man still coaches. Or was, I assume, up until about 8a.m. this morning when this piece came out.
The insidious effects of this kind of abuse are salient. These girls (now women) learn not to trust their experiences. To require outside validation for everything. Something bad happened to them as children, really bad, and it was ignored, or worse yet, they were told "This isn't happening. Just keep your mouth shut." Try to grasp the impact of this. You grow up, you have an experience, and you go, did that just happen? Someone said I was bad or stupid or ugly or mean, maybe I am? I don't think so, but maybe I am because he/she said so. I deserve this treatment because I am bad. I will accept it. If I am better, it won't happen anymore.
And so for those who say: this happened over 20 years ago. Get over it. I say: not so easy. These women are strong, and brave, and courageous. To come forward, trust their own experience, and be willing to shout it from the rooftops and take the criticisms that ensue. It is the first step towards believing in one's own worthiness. Go Julie. Go Doe. Go ladies go.
As someone who finally 'came out' last week and submitted a veritable book to the police, complete with sketches dating back to age 5 and journal and dream log entries to the present, I know the horror of thinking that your attacker could still be attacking young children. My biological father, as he was never a 'real' father, was a trusted officer of the law and former military interrogator. He trained me to be his 'little soldier' and I complied, loyal to the bitter hilt. Now that he is being investigated and his career is in review, that he has been exposed to his peers, it is such a relief to know that despite all his 'programming' he is now the one under the gun.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, this type of abuse is insidious. It infiltrates every thought. But I have been able to process a lot of the memories and trauma with EMDR and a very good shrink. Make sure you get good care and you can then do as much as you can to help others who may still be in harm's way. and to put a wrench in a pedophile's works........
Oh, and 1572238RSL is my user name
ReplyDeleteand the case number of the criminal investigation regarding my biological father's abuse and misuse of authority.
Find your inner child and empower him/her. There are no statutes of limitations in many states. Any states with statutes of limitations should be lobbied to change them NOW. Our 'coming out' will force state and local legislatures to review these antiquated statutes of limitations. Furthermore, as this type of abuse will continue to exist, it is important that victims of current abuse, who may not be able to report until later because their abuser is a caretaker upon which the victim's livelihood depends, be able to report when they escape in future without fear of slipping through 'legal' holes.