Dinner with Friends

As part of my Summer of Adventure, I dined with a few very old friends this week while I was in New York. I know it doesn't sound that adventurous. And it's not. But I tend to stick with the friends I have. I don't like explaining myself to new people, even if they are old friends. And while the impetus may strike to reach out to some old friend or other on Facebook, I generally don't ask them to hang out. Well, I did this time.

My old friend Porter... the roomie of my gay best friend from college. He had a brief stint of liking me. But I liked the gay. Open ended love triangle ensued. Porter was (and still is) funny in a unique and endearing way. Dry. Droll. Strange and deadpan. We spent a lot of time together back in the day over 20 years ago. As Freshmen in Western Civ, he encouraged me to leave class one day. It was boring. He said: Lets go. I said: Ok. We exited through the side door, somewhere kind of near the front of the auditorium. I should say, he exited. As soon as he got his body out the door, he shut it and held it shut, with my body mostly still in the auditorium, an arm on his side in the hall. He held it tight. I squirmed, laughed and begged him to let me out while being eyed by the Professor and the Humanities class. He let me out after a few minutes of humiliation.

He asked a few other mutual friends to join for dinner, Chip and Aden. I asked June, an old friend that is a consistent presence in my life still. We all lived in the same Freshman dorm. Donner. We were a proud crew. There weren't that many all Freshman dorms on Stanford campus so we were uniquely tight-knit in our shared all-Frosh experience.

Here's the low down. Chip - cute. Looks the same. Exactly. I thought he'd be bald and fat because he was cute back then. And isn't that always the way? The popular football player gets gross? Not Chip. Fucking adorable. Family guy - 2 little girls, wife. Lives in New Jersey on a horse farm. Owns music stores. (Do people go to stores for music anymore?) Charmingly sweet and good natured. Aden - also looks pretty much the same. Tall, thin (thinner?), Jewish in look and demeanor. He's a lawyer for the ACLU and lives in New York but doesn't seem to want to. Porter - graying, unmarried, distinguished. Has lived in China for the last decade or so. Seems to have maybe gotten rich at Alibaba, the Chinese Google, and is traveling around the world with his much younger Japanese girlfriend. Still funny if not a tad elusive.

It was an early night. Not big drinkers, this bunch. I drank the most at 2 beers and I would have gone the distance. Hmmm. What does this say about me? I had to sheepishly acknowledge that I was in the throes of a divorce. I received the "Aww, I'm sorry" commentary with aplomb. And no tears. And then changed the subject. Sitting amongst two happily married family men and one about-to-propose well-to-do bachelor, it's not the most fun thing to talk about. You kind of feel like the failure at the table.

All in all, nice night. Did we recapture the bond and energy of our youth? No. Did we have fun reminiscing? Yes absolutely.  Did I want to know more about Doug, the crush and hook-up of my Sophomore year that these fellas seem to still be in touch with? Yes. Did I ask? No. Seemed pathetic for the nearly divorced lady to pine over a lost love (like?) who is married with kids.

On to more adventures...