My Mini Happiness Project

I just finished reading a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I generally don't subscribe to these "project-type" books. I'd put Eat, Pray, Love smack dab in the epicenter of this genre which I didn't particularly like. Though I do recognize its value and its raging popularity and I wouldn't dare suggest my opinion is somehow more right than most people's - I'm in the minority here. So perhaps I just didn't get it or relate to it.

There does seem to be a spate of 'project' books of late - I'll do something for a year to better myself and I'll regale you with all the ways I bettered myself and you can too! Generally they seem artificial, contrived to me. And the language a bit cloying and/or too self-helpy for my tastes. This one - The Happiness Project - goes so far as to equip the reader with the tools to start her own happiness project. Which I'm not going to do. Nonetheless I got some worthwhile snippets from the book. And even learned that I already do a lot to promote my own happiness. Ms. Rubin clearly states that everyone's happiness project is going to be different - we all have different things that make us happy. But there are some general principles to abide by... I'm not going to quote her directly. Here's my interpretation of some of the "general principles":

1. Be yourself. Sounds like grade school pablum. But it's true. Know what you like, don't wish you liked other stuff (unless what you like somehow hurts people). And do more of it. And feel good about it.
2. Act happy and you'll feel happy. It's true. Act poopy and you'll be a poop. Period.
3. Working on your own happiness actually helps the world. If you're happy, you'll do more good deeds, be more generous. If you're blue, you'll do nothing. So it isn't selfish (or stupid) to be happy. 
4. It's easier to be a Debbie Downer than the gal that sees the bright side. It takes work and awareness to be happy. 
5. Dwelling on everyday problems doesn't help. Let it go. 
6. Lighten up. Laugh at yourself.
7. Give of yourself. Or "spend out" as she calls it. Don't give with wanting something in return. Give because it makes people happy. And it makes you happy to make them happy. And on it goes. 
8. Get lots of rest.
9. Exercise.
10. Be nice.
11. Don't keep score.

Ok she had others. But these ones resonated with me because I've been practicing them unwittingly. I give myself pretty high marks on these. I can do better on "let it go". I get sad sometimes. Not about silly stuff. About real stuff. But stuff I can't do anything about. And the fact is, my life is good. I'm healthy. My kids are healthy and kind and humble. My family is loving and supportive. I've got a great job that I really love that more than affords me the things I want to do. I work with smart, fun people that I enjoy being around even if many of them are moving on to other things. And I have a "hobby" (writing) that I also love. I'm not in a relationship. I don't have an obvious emergency contact. So what! I come to my own rescue all the time. And I've got lots of friends willing to step in in a crunch. Lucky girl is me. 

She points out throughout the book that she didn't write it because she was particularly UN-happy. (I suspect that part of the reason she wrote it is that she noticed a trend in project books and she had an idea for one that she sold... but that's cynical and not particularly nice but I'd do it too if I could think of a good project book!) She simply thought she could be happier. And can't we all.

This is my list of very practical things that I will do in the coming months to be even happier. 

1. Write a book (working on it).
2. Actively blog (doing it now).
3. Be positive, don't criticize (easy at work, harder outside... I can do it).
4. Spend money on things that make me happy - trips with my kids.
5. Spend money without worrying or feeling guilty.
6. Don't react to negativity.
7. Validate my kids feelings when they're being pains in the butt. It diffuses conflict - related to point 6 above.
8. Exercise (working on it - keep it up!)
9. Be me / know my character - do more of what I love, don't feel badly about what I like, want, need (even bad TV on occasion).
10. If I think someone else requires or deserves some sort of generosity, or kindness (I worry a lot about the people that work for me, for instance - and try to think of ways to make sure they always feel appreciated and heard) - then so do I. I generally think I can do without the things I think others need or deserve. Not so. 
11. Don't fret (I've been getting pretty good at this but I need to keep at it).
12. Date if it happens, but don't worry about it too much.
13. Sometimes...don't make the bed!

So there's my list. It is not an official "project". There are no timelines to be met. No solemn commitments. Just this reminder that I can consult if and when I fall off the happy.