River of Snakes

No one really tells you how hard it is to end your marriage. Of course you know it's hard. That's why you put it off for so long. Your divorced friends egg you on, maybe a little bit because they want someone else on their "team". The team of those who haven't made it through the gauntlet. The team that courageously ends what is known, maybe unfulfilling, maybe miserable, but known, to go in search of something maybe better. Maybe non-existent. Or, depending on your perspective, what could be considered the team that failed. That couldn't hack it. That simply couldn't endure the marathon of marriage with its highs and lows. Courageous love crusaders or failures.  Tomato / tom-ah-to.  Regardless, these people want you on their team so they tell you: you can do it!

Whatever the reason, there are many divorcees that cheer you on. That tell you there is happiness on the other side. If you can just cross the river of snakes to get to it. They leave out the snakes part.

And then there are your married friends who haven't been happy in years but stay, and want you to stay, to continue to be a confidant in misery. You meet for drinks, you complain, you both go home to a warm bed.

My bed isn't warm anymore. And I'm knee deep in snakes. And I don't know if I will make it to the other side.

Oh yeah, I forgot, there are those few, those happily married few. Who are confounded by your marital distress. They have understanding and support and the warm bed and all of it. They can't imagine 1/ how you can be married and not have those things 2/ how you'd put up with anything less; 3/why you're sad now that you no longer have someone who doesn't understand, support and hug you.

I just wish someone had warned me about the snakes. I might have decided to brave them. I might have. I certainly would have worn some sort of snake protection suit, that is for sure. Ideally it would keep the bed warm at night and turn the lights on before I come home.