Ok that last post sounded bad. Selfish and horrible. Perhaps dating B was just that. Selfish. Not ready. But how to get ready without trying it out? Why did W fall in so quickly? How could he forget so readily? In love already. Just a few months after we split. I'm dating trying to forget and it just makes me remember more.
Men are different. They decide to be done and they are done. And he is done with me. And I can't be done. Not yet. For all the bad stuff, the controlling behaviors, the no you can't do that, that's bad, you're bad, you're competitive and everyone must hate you no vacation no moving no more babies...for all the terrible things I did, the resentment, regret, lying, avoiding, falling falling falling...for all of that...I miss him. His big brain, his laugh, his wryness, his intellect. His face. I miss him.
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